Dong Smooch

from by Rhea Mendoza

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about

Country Western love song

lyrics

Well, listen up, ladies,
if your man starts to stray,
and you're wonderin' how you can keep him from walkin' away-

Oh, and if he's grown distant,
never listens to you,
my advice is quite plain, I'll explain, for it's easy to do.

Well, you gotta give him a dong smooch,
marinate the man steak,
you gotta carry your mouth down to the south
and charm his trouser snake.

You gotta kiss the king Cobra,
take a toke from his bong,
Oh, a girl can't go wrong
with a slow, steady smooch on a dong.

and if a woman wants wooin'
or a night of romance,
well it's easy to get if you pet the pole cat in his pants.

and if a woman wants roses,
she gotta use her two-lips (tulips)
she's gotta reach for the schlong-straw and start suckin' in a few sips.

Yeah, you gotta give him a dong smooch,
blow the steam from his spout,
you gotta sing a slow song on his flesh microphone
till the speaker blows out.

Drink the tea from his china
when you mouth-bang his gong-
yeah, a girl can't go wrong
with a slow, steady smooch on a dong.

La, la-da-da dong (repeat)

You've got to give him a dong smooch,
make it tender, but strong,
Oh a girl can't go wrong with a slow, steady smooch on a dong.

No a girl can't go wrong
with a slow, steady smooch,
don't forget 'bout the gooch,
or to tickle his fruits,
no a girl can't go wrong
with a slow, steady smooch on a dong.

credits

from Slightly Dirty Songs, released October 26, 2012
guitar and vocals: written, performed and recorded by Rhea Mendoza.

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Rhea Mendoza Chicago, Illinois

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